no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
