sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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