is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
