we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize