no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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