I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
