dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
