I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
