I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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