they need to just BURY HIM!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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