i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
