Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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