hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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