her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
