I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize