You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
