laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
