he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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