That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
