just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
