hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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