508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
