She is in my trunk
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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