I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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