Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We were destined to go to rehab together
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
