it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Boobs are out for the taking
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
