At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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