bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
