I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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