the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
