I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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