I like to think it a success when the cops are called
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
