hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
