no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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