Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
