I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Randomize
