she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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