i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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