Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
