I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
