Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
