Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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