i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
