Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
