your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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