She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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