dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize