I was born with a shot glass in my hand
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
