how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
