Porn is love you can see.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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