never play flip cup with pint glasses
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize