dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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