OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
