I cockslap morals
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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