He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We have started to decorate penises.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize