dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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