already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
