yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
