I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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