girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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