If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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