she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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