Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
