I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
