I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
