we're blogging at a bar
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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