we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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