dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
