sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize